•11:36 PM
This is my top 10 list of things not to say to someone who is struggling with fertility issues. There have been many people who mean well and don’t know what to say so they go with cliché statements. What they don’t understand is what it means to someone who is in the middle of a personal war. This is a list of things that I have heard/experienced in the past year.
1. Just relax and it will happen. Seriously? Why didn’t I think of that!
2. Anything having to do with God’s will. So your telling me that God thinks I would make a terrible Mother?
3. Have you thought about adoption? Your telling me that I’m broken. Have YOU thought about adoption?
4. You will understand when you are a Mother. Just flat out hurtful.
5. Maybe you should try antidepressants (my personal favorite). Said to me after my last miscarriage. Let me assure you that what I was feeling was appropriate for what I was going through.
6. You should get a puppy. You should get a brain.
7. Stop trying.
8. Don’t discount what I’m feeling and try to put a happy spin on things. Thank you for trying to make me feel better or make yourself less uncomfortable, but sometimes I just need to be pissed.
9. Don’t complain to me about your pregnancy/kids. It’s pouring salt on my wounds.
10. Don’t pity me. That just makes it worse. This situation is what it is and I am managing it. Some days are better than others. When you pity me it says to me that you think that I am less than you. I am not.
For those of you who have never struggled with this I bet you think this is pretty harsh. For those of you who are walking this path I bet you think I am right on the money. In fact you can probably add to this list.
1. Just relax and it will happen. Seriously? Why didn’t I think of that!
2. Anything having to do with God’s will. So your telling me that God thinks I would make a terrible Mother?
3. Have you thought about adoption? Your telling me that I’m broken. Have YOU thought about adoption?
4. You will understand when you are a Mother. Just flat out hurtful.
5. Maybe you should try antidepressants (my personal favorite). Said to me after my last miscarriage. Let me assure you that what I was feeling was appropriate for what I was going through.
6. You should get a puppy. You should get a brain.
7. Stop trying.
8. Don’t discount what I’m feeling and try to put a happy spin on things. Thank you for trying to make me feel better or make yourself less uncomfortable, but sometimes I just need to be pissed.
9. Don’t complain to me about your pregnancy/kids. It’s pouring salt on my wounds.
10. Don’t pity me. That just makes it worse. This situation is what it is and I am managing it. Some days are better than others. When you pity me it says to me that you think that I am less than you. I am not.
For those of you who have never struggled with this I bet you think this is pretty harsh. For those of you who are walking this path I bet you think I am right on the money. In fact you can probably add to this list.
